#CoffeeTalk …on wanting to quit, but feel you can’t

Quit: (1) to leave (a place), usually permanently, (2) resign from (a job), (3) stop or discontinue (an action or activity), (4) to rid of…

I quit on a job twice in my career. The first time was sad because I loved working there. The second time I was very anxious because I couldn’t wait to leave. Yet, I do not regret either of the decisions made. However, everyone associates the word ‘quit’ with career-based actions. But, what about quitting people, habits, and situations? You might say is not the same. Wrong. And that it isn’t harder than letting go of a job. Wrong again. But, being in a relationship or having a bad habit is not a job. Wrong the 3rd time. But, being in an uncomfortable situation is not a job. According to you

Just because these things have an emotional tag on them, doesn’t mean that we have not ‘worked hard’ to keep them in our lives. 

When you involve both your mind and your heart on something or someone, you are making it work so you have a reason to stay in it. It is the same as working your ass off at a job you love or a job that benefits you.

When I was 21, I left my parent’s house, determined to no longer be in the toxic relationship that we created amongst ourselves. Surprisingly, my mom and I spoke again and we are currently working on creating a comprehensive relationship, which we didn’t have before. My dad and I still need a bit of time to heal. But, not all the people and/or opportunities I had quit on came back, and that’s OK.

Because the reason for quitting is not to hope that it will come back; the reason for quitting is to leave or let it be…permanently. 

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Sometimes, quitting is not the answer. That’s what folks always say, and they are right. Sometimes you are just tired of fighting and want to forget about it until you feel strong enough to dust yourself off and continue to try to make it work again. This action is healthy, even. Yet, that’s not quitting; that’s taking a break. When you are (literally) DONE fighting for something that will never happen, sick and tired of someone that will never change, or disappointed at a situation that will never be resolved, no matter how hard you try to make it work, then quitting IS the answer.

Yet, when we want to leave something or someone, we often feel that we can’t because of many, many reasons. These reasons can be a financial dependency (the most common), emotional support, mental stability (or what we think gives us that), fear of being alone (another common reason) or (the biggest one) fear of failure.

But, when you stop believing you can’t quit, you learn the many, many reasons you have to. These reasons might be wanting financial independence, different emotional support, strong mental care, learning to enjoy your own company, and the acceptance that to fail is to be human. 

So, if you want to quit because you feel that without it you will be better or because you have done everything in your power to make it work, but the results are the same, then plan things correctly, be as prepared as you can and do it. These are the same reasons people quit their jobs. Why should they be any different when quitting anything else?

Life is balance of holding on and letting go.

Rumi, sufi poet

Coffee talks are posts by the author that showcase her personal opinion on topics that matter to her. In no way does the author feels she is an expert on the topic she is presenting.

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